Well, this is different

I went into this, planning to write a really depressing sort of blog post (as i normally do) but that is quite impossible now after watching something completely adorable. So instead, i will talk about how strange i am.

I am a really weird person. Ask my friends, they will confirm this (but i'm not going to give you my friends' names so if you really do want to ask, you must get my identity first, which will probably never be revealed). I will probably be one of the weirdest person you will ever meet. I'm like not bipolar but like infinitypolar. I have so many different moods and they all change constantly. My moods are also extreme. Like if i'm mad, i'll be extremely mad. If i'm sad, i'll be extremely sad. There is rarely any in between. Even when i have no mood, i will literally not have a mood. It's really weird and really hard for people to actually deal with this. I mean, what kind of person would want to be friends with someone who is just constant change. You have no idea what to expect from me, no idea at all.

I know i'm insane. I can't help it. I'm extremely awkward and i have secret personalities. You know, i want to slut it up one day and just see what people think. In my mind, i can be several things. I actually think i have an extremely slutty side in my mind that i'm like forcing to stay hidden or something. I'm a dancer in my mind, even though i don't think i'm actually that good. If only i had dance classes as a child. I love dance. I'm also a cheerleader in my mind. Dancing and cheerleading, that's probably the cause of my whole slutty side. But anyway. I'm super insecure but weird at the same time. I'm insecure in the sense that i compare myself to everything and i hate it. I'll never be thin enough (which is supposedly stupid because everyone says i'm thin). In my mind, i'm not thin enough. That makes me sound sort of anorexic but i'm not. Believe me, i'm not. I love food so much. I'm not bulimic either. I have no eating disorder. I'm just an almost 5 ft 7 in girl who weights more than i should (this is in my mind ok?). I'll never be good enough. I'll always think that i'm extremely easily replaced. This also doesn't fit with me being weird because i also don't care what other people think sometimes. I'm extremely weird. I act weird when i'm with my friends, even with people i don't know but i don't care. If they think i'm weird, they think i'm weird. I already know that and now they do too. I guess i'm just full of contradictions. My whole mind doesn't make sense, even to me. I'm supposed to understand myself but i don't. I don't think that i will ever understand myself. I'm discovering new things about myself all the time. Who know, in a few years i could be completely normal (er, society's idea of normal) but that would just be boring. (thinking back.... i'm wondering why i'm calling myself a slut.... I'm sorry i'm random)

UGH! This is exactly why i don't post things unless i'm emotionally charged. I tend to not finish. Like ever. so i'm just going to post this in hopes that it satisfies whatever it satisfies.

HE IS MINE. I'M THE ONLY THING ON HIS MIND. HE THINKS ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME......... (guess where that's from? I'm listening to it now)