Oh look, a miracle. I'm updating twice in one day. I'm actually writing this right after i finished my other one. That's because people do more things that infuriate me. *sigh* If you know me, which most of you probably don't (there i go again, thinking people actually read this... but anyway, indulge my fantasy) then you would know i'm a pretty violent person, not physically but like in my mind.... Like i don't actually hit people (unless they push me over my limit and my limit is pretty high or whatever word you use). All the violence happens in my mind.
One day, i just want to change that. For all you stupid people who think i'm just a quiet girl who's weak and can be pushed around, i want them to know other wise. I'm actually full of sass. I say things to myself in my mind all the freaking time. I just can't voice it. It's sad actually. But anyway, sometimes people make me so mad. I can barely contain my anger, but i do... somehow i do. Sometimes, i wonder. I wonder if i unleashed my anger and used violence, would that solve anything. It seemed to work for A. (remember A?) Sometimes i want to freaking punch people over and over again, and maybe then they will stop using me and all my niceness. If you ask people, some will say i'm the nicest person they know. I'm actually not that nice if you dive into my mind. Nice people aren't violent.
In my mind, i'm extremely violent. People who use me are the worse. This is where my sisters come in. They make me hate hypocrites because they are one. They make me want to punch people because most of the time it's them i want to punch. You may ask why i harbor all this anger towards my sisters, and that sisters are supposed to love each other. Just call me the fucking exception because i absolutely hate my sisters. There are times when they are decent and i want to believe that i can love them, but in the end they always freaking abuse my niceness. I'm willing to do anything to get on their good sides. Then i find out they're just using me for my niceness. I would do anything for them to love me, but no. All i get it their anger. All they do every single fucking day is yell at me. I know they're scared of me. They are fucking cowards that send a little 8 year old to tell me to be quiet. I just want to release my fists into them one day, see if they want to use me ever again. I know violence is not the solution to anything, but sometimes, i wish i would. It's like JYJ's scandal and how they hit a private. That private freaking deserved it, but it doesn't fucking matter because they still do what they do. It's different with my situation though. When i released my fist on A, she just left me alone. I know she's freaking scared of me and yet she STILL talks bad behind my back when she think's i'm sleeping. That's just how my sisters are. They're all little demon people who are fucking idiots. I'm probably the best person out of all of them. They're all demon children who backstab people all the time. I hope my sister ends up 16 and pregnant. I would laugh at her, i really would. That's a terrible thing to wish on her, but it would be karma kicking up her ass. What kind of real person wants to date as many people as she can in high school? What kind of real girl says she aspires to be one of the girls who always has a boyfriend and makes out with them in the hall? That isn't a girl. It's called a slut. A whore. It's like a few steps from being a prostitute or a stripper. Ugh. I hate my sisters so much. One may be tolerable, but they're over-rated. This, annoying people, is the reason i don't really want to live on this planet anymore. The reason why i just want to be isolated from the rest of the world. The reason why i would be perfectly content being stranded on an island by myself, as long as i have internet connection and an extremely fast laptop with electricity. I'd be set. I'll elaborate in a new post eventually ( i hope?) but anyway. I. Hate. People. That is all.
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