This is the prologue to my book! :) I'm so proud that i'm continuing this book, unlike my other ones... The other ones only made it to like 3 pages at the most, with probably three chapters. This one is at 16 pages!!!!!! <---- AMAZING! and 6 chapters :) I don't know, the idea sort of came to me when i was sitting at the library last year. I was thinking of SOS (Some One Special in case you didn't know) and then i just thought of the prologue. This is NO WAY related to my life.I only have one guy in my life :) I also came up with the title when i was writing one of my poems. I named it forever night and i thought that was the perfect title for my book!!! well... i think i prolonged this enough so here it is!
Prologue
My heart beats rapidly as night started to take over. I turned around and there he was. I had no idea what to say. My mind was a complete blank. I can’t believe that it chose this moment to malfunction. James looked much more handsome than I last saw him. His hair had lightened due to the sun. He was beginning to tan and it looked good. It looked really really good.
I can’t believe that I am about to do this. My dream was coming true, but am I beginning to have doubts? I’ll have to leave everyone I love. Can I truly leave my long time boyfriend, Michael, for James? I have to admit that I felt a connection with James, but I have been with Michael for almost all of middle school and part of high school.
“Are you ready?” James asked in a very deep voice. It was deeper than usual. Was he sensing that I had doubts? This was no time to think about this now. I love James. I am ready to do this.
“Yes, I am ready,” I replied trying to hide my doubts. I stepped closer to him and stared into his eyes. I hope that he can tell that I’m ready. I am.
“Are you sure you want to do this? You will be giving up everyone you love. You will be giving up your friends, family, and even Michael,” James said. Did I detect a hint of jealousy when he said Michael’s name. I’m pretty sure that it was. That thought made me smile. I caught myself before it showed.
“Yes, I am ready. I love you James. Michael is the past and this is the present. You are my true love and I want to be with you forever,” as soon as I said that, I realized that it was true. I really do love James and I’m ready to give up my life for him. James walked closer. He pulled me into an embrace.
I was ready for this. There was no more time for doubts. James moved my brown hair aside so that he could have easier access to my neck. As James came closer I was struck with a sense of fear. I tried to push down my natural instincts. I need to distract myself so that James can finish. I wanted to join him. I needed to join him. It was my destiny.
I tried to distract myself. I tried to remember when we first meet, how this all started on that one day. The first day.
It looks so short on this post, but i promise! it's 1 whole page on microsoft word! (not double spaced and 12 point Times new roman font!)
Here is the poem that inspired the lovely title!!!!! Title of the poem is also Forever Nigh
There is nothing
Pure emptiness
Pure silent
No movement
Just darkness
Darkness everywhere
A trap
Once the sun shined here
When you were with me
But you’re gone...
And you took away the sun
And left me in darkness
In a state of
FOREVER NIGHT
Don't hate me... LOVE me!! :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Love
It's time for another question!!!!!!!
Today's question is:
What is love? Have you ever thought of this question? I have before I found the person that I love. I used to wonder what it would feel like to be in love. Nothing that I thought before is the same now that i actually love someone. Well.... i can't say that it's not the same.... because it basically is... but i've gone into so much more depth.
I used to think that love was just an emotion that i wouldn't be able to feel... at least not until i was a lot older. I thought that love was an emotion that builds up, an emotion that people come to feel after a long time of being with a person. This has all changed. I guess the meaning of love changes for everyone once they actually experience it.
Love.... I sigh when i think about this because it reminds me of the most wonderfulest person in the world. If you read my other posts then you would know who this person is.... but if you don't his name is alan! He's the person that i am in love with. The person that i want to spend the rest of my life with. The person i want to marry and grow old with.
So.... onward with the question! Love isn't what people feel.... it's something that can been seen, touched, and everything else. When you are in love nothing else matters but the other person. They are all you can thing about. Almost every single thing reminds you of them and you can't help smiling when you get a sudden thought about your love.
When your with him you feel complete. You feel ABSOLUTLY whole. You're more aware of what he does. How he does it. Whatever! He makes you feel like your flying in the sky. When he's staring at your eyes it makes you feel giddy. It's like you two are the only people in the world. No one else exsists... No one else is important enough for you attention... only HIM.... or HER. Only you two matter. Nothing else. NOTHING ELSE at all.
And when he's not with you, you feel empty. Without him you feel sad. You miss him so much that it hurt... and i don't mean the "hurt" hurt... but the actual physical pain that happens in your heart. A pain that you can feel. You just want to be with your love every single milisecond of every single day.... but sometimes you can't and you miss them like crazy.
Love is something that is just overpowing..... Love is.... everywhere.... but it's intensified by 1000X when your with your special someone. He is truely special. He does little things that you don't notice. I bet i do little things in return, but i don't notice it myself. But these things are what contribute to love. It's nice knowing that someone cares, that someone really wants to spend the rest of their lives connected to you with a bond. That bond would mean anything and everything to me. EVERYTHING! It would mean that i get to spend the rest of my life with the man i love. I don't want any other person. I have him... that's all that matters.
If the earth was put into peril and we were the only people left on earth i would enjoy every single milisecond of it because he is there with me. Even if i see all the death and distruction i know he will be there to comfort me and help me cope. Two people who are in love are always there for each other. They encourage each other and help each other through hard times. They support each other.
There is also nothing that can get in the way of their love. Not even seperation. Nothing at all can get in the way. I do mean nothing. (possibly not even death... i hope not! the book series kissed by an angel is a perfect example... but i do not like the ending)
Love also involves trust. I trust alan with everything. I know he won't let me down.... and even if he did i would forgive him and trust him to not make the same msitake twice. Love is trusting the other person with your heart and soul. I trust that alan would not break my heart without a good reason. I trust that he will tell me the truth no matter how much it hurts me. I trust him to give honest opinions and to never drop me. (i ran out of word.. maybe i'm too tired... i'll update again later :P)
There is so much more i want to say... but i can't put it into words. The feeling of love cannot be described completely.... i love you alan!! :)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me!!! <----- but my love will always belong to alan!
Today's question is:
What is love? Have you ever thought of this question? I have before I found the person that I love. I used to wonder what it would feel like to be in love. Nothing that I thought before is the same now that i actually love someone. Well.... i can't say that it's not the same.... because it basically is... but i've gone into so much more depth.
I used to think that love was just an emotion that i wouldn't be able to feel... at least not until i was a lot older. I thought that love was an emotion that builds up, an emotion that people come to feel after a long time of being with a person. This has all changed. I guess the meaning of love changes for everyone once they actually experience it.
Love.... I sigh when i think about this because it reminds me of the most wonderfulest person in the world. If you read my other posts then you would know who this person is.... but if you don't his name is alan! He's the person that i am in love with. The person that i want to spend the rest of my life with. The person i want to marry and grow old with.
So.... onward with the question! Love isn't what people feel.... it's something that can been seen, touched, and everything else. When you are in love nothing else matters but the other person. They are all you can thing about. Almost every single thing reminds you of them and you can't help smiling when you get a sudden thought about your love.
When your with him you feel complete. You feel ABSOLUTLY whole. You're more aware of what he does. How he does it. Whatever! He makes you feel like your flying in the sky. When he's staring at your eyes it makes you feel giddy. It's like you two are the only people in the world. No one else exsists... No one else is important enough for you attention... only HIM.... or HER. Only you two matter. Nothing else. NOTHING ELSE at all.
And when he's not with you, you feel empty. Without him you feel sad. You miss him so much that it hurt... and i don't mean the "hurt" hurt... but the actual physical pain that happens in your heart. A pain that you can feel. You just want to be with your love every single milisecond of every single day.... but sometimes you can't and you miss them like crazy.
Love is something that is just overpowing..... Love is.... everywhere.... but it's intensified by 1000X when your with your special someone. He is truely special. He does little things that you don't notice. I bet i do little things in return, but i don't notice it myself. But these things are what contribute to love. It's nice knowing that someone cares, that someone really wants to spend the rest of their lives connected to you with a bond. That bond would mean anything and everything to me. EVERYTHING! It would mean that i get to spend the rest of my life with the man i love. I don't want any other person. I have him... that's all that matters.
If the earth was put into peril and we were the only people left on earth i would enjoy every single milisecond of it because he is there with me. Even if i see all the death and distruction i know he will be there to comfort me and help me cope. Two people who are in love are always there for each other. They encourage each other and help each other through hard times. They support each other.
There is also nothing that can get in the way of their love. Not even seperation. Nothing at all can get in the way. I do mean nothing. (possibly not even death... i hope not! the book series kissed by an angel is a perfect example... but i do not like the ending)
Love also involves trust. I trust alan with everything. I know he won't let me down.... and even if he did i would forgive him and trust him to not make the same msitake twice. Love is trusting the other person with your heart and soul. I trust that alan would not break my heart without a good reason. I trust that he will tell me the truth no matter how much it hurts me. I trust him to give honest opinions and to never drop me. (i ran out of word.. maybe i'm too tired... i'll update again later :P)
There is so much more i want to say... but i can't put it into words. The feeling of love cannot be described completely.... i love you alan!! :)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me!!! <----- but my love will always belong to alan!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
R.I.P jenpoo! :'(
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! One of my favorite websites clsosed due to unmentionable reasons!!!!!!!! what could that possibly mean?!?! Why did they have to close! I tried to go on it yesterday and when i read the message i almost cried!! R.I.P. Jenpoo!!! All korean music lovers will miss you so dearly!!!! Does anyone know any other websites that are exactly like jenpoo? I don't mean the kabooma. com (i think.... idk how to spell it) or the ihoneyjoo.com either. Nothig wil be like jenpoo unless they ake a new website that's somewhat simular! I want to know! I'll die without that website!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! *tear* poor jenpoo! it only lasted from 2009-2010!
Don't hate me... LOVE me!!!!
Don't hate me... LOVE me!!!!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
better to love?
Is it better to love and to lose it than to never have loved at all? I don't think that statement is completly true. There is a lot and i do mean A LOT of heartbreak that comes with losing love. Once you found it you don't ever want to let it go. Sometime this loss can be horrible! it might make the person wish that the person never have loved at all. Is love really worth all that pain if you lose it? I don't know.... feeling loved is a great and wonderful feeling, but pain is also an agonizing feeling that can leave you with a broken/ hole in your heart.
It pains me just to see the person i love with all my heart being sad... I don't know what i would do if i lost him.... but i hope that never happens (just thinking about it has me teary already) But i think i would rather not love than to love and lose it... I think i would always want the same love that i experienced with that one special person... and if he left then i can't have that again. knowing that... it might be better to never have loved at all... The pain of losing love lasts forever....
eh i'm going to cut it short.... i started this at like 7.... and i kinda got distracted by FB <--- we all do! so don't blame me! ;)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me! <--- but not the kind that hurts when i'm gone ;)
It pains me just to see the person i love with all my heart being sad... I don't know what i would do if i lost him.... but i hope that never happens (just thinking about it has me teary already) But i think i would rather not love than to love and lose it... I think i would always want the same love that i experienced with that one special person... and if he left then i can't have that again. knowing that... it might be better to never have loved at all... The pain of losing love lasts forever....
eh i'm going to cut it short.... i started this at like 7.... and i kinda got distracted by FB <--- we all do! so don't blame me! ;)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me! <--- but not the kind that hurts when i'm gone ;)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Random School Writing
OH! I'm back again in the same month! (barly... barely?) As i "speak" or if u must be technical type i am in class.... well not anymore, but while i was in class i wrote it on paper and now i'm transfering it to type. I wrote this during my fifth and sixth hour because this was more fun than history notes. (who loves them? not me!!) Writing is the only way that i can stay awake!
Ugh! Everytime i look at the clock... only a few minutes go by! (Everyone knows what i mean right? It's absoulute torture to be in a boring history class surrounded by people I hate..... and the one person that i want to see can't visit me because i have class!!! grrr!!!) Now my teacher is talking about love... he's making fun of the girl sitting next to me!! WOW that was the first interesting thing to happen since the beginning of school (aug. 19)
What he said is very interesting.... i think i'll talk about that in another entry. (so watch out for that one!) Haha now the subject is a kitty cat! such randomness in history class today! It's a funny story....... AHHHHH!!! HE WANTS TO FLUSH HIS DAUGHTER"S TURTLE DOWN THE TOILET!!!! Such a strange class(I know). but most of the time it's soooooo boring especially english! (I hope they never ever find my blog! that would be horrible! they will hate me and fail me! >.<) Oh i'm just getting many ideas for future "philosophical" blog entries! but class is almost over so this will be the end... THE END!!!
Don't Hate Me..... LOVE me!!
Ugh! Everytime i look at the clock... only a few minutes go by! (Everyone knows what i mean right? It's absoulute torture to be in a boring history class surrounded by people I hate..... and the one person that i want to see can't visit me because i have class!!! grrr!!!) Now my teacher is talking about love... he's making fun of the girl sitting next to me!! WOW that was the first interesting thing to happen since the beginning of school (aug. 19)
What he said is very interesting.... i think i'll talk about that in another entry. (so watch out for that one!) Haha now the subject is a kitty cat! such randomness in history class today! It's a funny story....... AHHHHH!!! HE WANTS TO FLUSH HIS DAUGHTER"S TURTLE DOWN THE TOILET!!!! Such a strange class(I know). but most of the time it's soooooo boring especially english! (I hope they never ever find my blog! that would be horrible! they will hate me and fail me! >.<) Oh i'm just getting many ideas for future "philosophical" blog entries! but class is almost over so this will be the end... THE END!!!
Don't Hate Me..... LOVE me!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
wow! continued!
What a surprise to see me again! :P New goal for the school year!! I just came up with it... hence the new post right after the other one i did today! Well.... not right after! I started typing it right after! but it probably won't be posted until later one... since i'm getting distracted by the tv and texting my wonderfully amazing boyfriend! while watching America's next to model! I happen to like that show! and no i don't plan on being a model! it just happens to be very entertaining! (like the bad girls club miami! it's interesting... except all the cussing)
Well.... onto the surprise!! I'm going to try and blog more.... even though that didn't work when i started this blog... but i am doing better than alan! :P So exciting! although i doubt it... since i'm in school and what not.... which is super hard! I have been super stressed! (and it's only the SIXTH day of school!) and with no intervention i might add! So i don't get to see my amazing BT NHI!!! I miss her! :( And intervention is fun! School doesn't start until 8! (but i still wake up early just to go to the library and see nhi!!)
My tummy hurts for some odd reason.... i think it's time to end this post!
Don't hate me... LOVE me! :)
Well.... onto the surprise!! I'm going to try and blog more.... even though that didn't work when i started this blog... but i am doing better than alan! :P So exciting! although i doubt it... since i'm in school and what not.... which is super hard! I have been super stressed! (and it's only the SIXTH day of school!) and with no intervention i might add! So i don't get to see my amazing BT NHI!!! I miss her! :( And intervention is fun! School doesn't start until 8! (but i still wake up early just to go to the library and see nhi!!)
My tummy hurts for some odd reason.... i think it's time to end this post!
Don't hate me... LOVE me! :)
wow!
Wow! Haven't posted in a while! Summer wasa amazing.... but not it's back to school.... but let's not talk about that right now (even though it's the 6th day of school!! >.<) As i said, summer is absolutly and completly amazing! and you want to guess who made it that? Some on special! that's who :P Actually many special people... but mostly one special person.... and as for my summer goals..... a big failure!! I never did learn the single ladies dance, but i made up for that! Honestly i did! I learned another dance! (even though it took a lot of days... and i sorta gave up then continued! with STILL counts as learning it :P)
I also completed my summer reading program! But i got kinda lazy... i didn't read more than 50 books this year >.< (last year was more than 100!) but that's probabaly due to the fact that i talk to someone special!! but enough about that (for now ;)) As i said i finished.... but only 1/2 of it... I wanted to finish the extended version too! but i only got 4 out of the 10 slots filled and i didn't feel like reading anymore... even though i got a few books (i'm going to save them for school ;)
As for my last goal.... exercising more NEVER works for me.... Sure i did a lot of walking but i don't think that counts. I also did tennis a couple of times.... and by a couple i mean one... only one! And i remember once i ran a mile on the treadmill, did 25 sit ups, 100 jumping jacks, and 3 push ups (Because i'm weak!) After that.... nothing! I didn't even go swimming that often! >.<
That's all for now ;)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me :)
I also completed my summer reading program! But i got kinda lazy... i didn't read more than 50 books this year >.< (last year was more than 100!) but that's probabaly due to the fact that i talk to someone special!! but enough about that (for now ;)) As i said i finished.... but only 1/2 of it... I wanted to finish the extended version too! but i only got 4 out of the 10 slots filled and i didn't feel like reading anymore... even though i got a few books (i'm going to save them for school ;)
As for my last goal.... exercising more NEVER works for me.... Sure i did a lot of walking but i don't think that counts. I also did tennis a couple of times.... and by a couple i mean one... only one! And i remember once i ran a mile on the treadmill, did 25 sit ups, 100 jumping jacks, and 3 push ups (Because i'm weak!) After that.... nothing! I didn't even go swimming that often! >.<
That's all for now ;)
Don't hate me.... LOVE me :)
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