regrets

I have so many regrets in my life. SO MANY REGRETS. I've always wanted to try things. I've always wanted to be involved in things like cheer or POMs. I've always wanted to be the girly girl that gets to wear a cheer leading uniform. I've always wanted to do things like that but things hold me back. Mostly it's my parents. They demand so much out of me academically that i'm afraid if i take on something else, it'll ruin my academics. I want to do tennis so bad. I want to do tennis, but i don't because i think it'll take way too much time. I wanted to do band. I wanted to learn to play an instrument but i was so discouraged because my parents never encouraged me in any area besides academics (and even that was encouraged with threats). I'm also a quiet person. My parents never socialized me that much. They didn't even try and now they make fun of me and blame me for my shyness. Stupid. If i could turn back the time and fix one of my regrets, i would chose to fix the fact that i did not join poms. I love their performances. I want to be down there cheering with them. I want to be able to learn routines and such. I regret not joining so much. There will always be regrets in my life, always. But the things i regret the most at the moment is not taking high school opportunities. I wanted to do theater. I wanted to, but i was too shy to try out, too shy to do anything. I want to get rid of this shyness. I want to be able to talk to people like a normal person, a normal person who flirts with guys and does everything a girl does. I don't want to be this social reject who's a freaking nerd. I want to re create myself when i go to college. I hope i can change my ways and grow to be a better person.