Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving

What's the point of being thankful for things when all you can do is cry? This is the worst I've felt for a while and why? I can't answer that. It's not like my life is that bad. I have a house and my grades are ok. I guess I'm just striving for things that I can't have. I don't know.

As I'm typing this, tears are streaming down my face for no reason. At least not a reason that I have come to understand. This feeling is well known to me. Most times I just don't understand. I don't understand why I'm feeling like I'm lost. I have no idea why. I guess I'll get over this like I always do. It might just take longer this time.

I can deal with this, at least that's what I tell myself. Some of you may ask why I don't see a doctor about this. Well, I'm Asian. There is no therapist in my Asian world. Whenever I cry, everyone tells at me and tell me to man up. There is no reason to cry. Maybe that's why I'm ashamed of crying. It shouldn't even exist in my vocabulary. My parents wouldn't understand and I have no words to tell them about my depression.

Why even tell my parents at all if they won't actually care right?

*sigh* I still have a little bit of time to cry so I'll be doing that. Goodbye.

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