Today, I realized that I am a person who thinks a guy can fix all my problems. This is a very bad thing because I have become dependent on a guy. A guy that I do not even know yet. I feel that a guy can just take away all my problems or at least help with them. I feel like having a guy who is there for me, who will give me hugs to make me feel better, who will support me, who will calm me down, who will do everything to make sure I am happy would fix who I am.
I know that I don't really need a man, but due to my past relationship I feel that having someone like that just has to be a guy. I have never really been the open type, especially to other girls. The first person I ever opened up to completely was a guy and maybe I feel like my boyfriend (whoever he may be in the future) would be the only person that I can ever open up to completely. I don't know why, I guess I just can't really talk to girls. This could be a pretty big problem.
Right now, I do not have a guy and there are times when I feel completely broken and hurt and I just hold it all in. I feel like I'm going to need therapy in order to control all the feelings I have bottled up inside. I feel like having a guy there would make me feel so much better. For those of you in relationships or those who have been in relationship then you know what I am talking about. A hug from your significant other can at least make the world a little bit better.
I guess I have developed dependent feelings and expectations for the male specimen and I am not sure how to deal with that. All I know is that whoever decided they want to date me next needs to be warned of all my emotional baggage. I just want a fun relationship with a guy who will be there for me. Someone who would just hug me and not ask questions when I show up at his house in tears. Someone to cheer me up again. I just need someone.
I'm a very very sad person.
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