Tumblr Thoughts

So I stumbled on this quote while I was on tumblr and thought I would discuss it on this wonderful and terribly inactive blog. College is hard. College is stressful. College makes me want to scream in frustration.

The quote is:
“I wonder who’s arms would I run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved”


I am going to change that last word to liked because I haven't really loved many people. This got me thinking though. I was kind of put into that situation recently. Just kinda... ok, not really... Yeah, totally not really. Ok, scratch that.

Anyways. If I was drunk, I would probably go around and just fall into the arms of each and every single guy. I mean when I am a bit tipsy, apparently I LOVE to hug people. If you know me, that's like a complete 180. I do not enjoy touching strangers or hugging in general. It was really weird because at a party I was totally just asking every guy who walked through the door to just give me a hug.

But really. In reality, if I was drunk I would hug every guy there. As for who I would just like follow around, that would really depend. I mean there are guys that I liked for a really really really long time (like 5 years+ long) and there are some guys that I have thought were really really really attractive and I may have liked them for a little bit. When it comes down to it, I would probably just chose the guy that I came with... but I really wouldn't know. Could I really stop myself from going to the one person that made me feel for a little bit of my life or the guy that I liked for a really long time but has an awesome girlfriend right now? I don't know. I am kind of sensible when I am drunk so I would probably (and I say probably because I am really not that sure) NOT go back to the one guy that broke my heart because to be honest, he was a jerk and I kinda don't like him at like all right now. I probably wouldn't fall into the arms of the guy that I used to like for a really long time because I just want to be his friend now. I don't want anything to happen with him. I just want to finally become his friend again.

As for the guys that I may actually fall into. There is a guy. He's nice. I don't know if I like him. I don't know if things will happen, but I absolutely love his personality and I know he would take care of me if he wasn't wasted himself. He's awesome, but just a little too outgoing for me. He has a bunch of girls and to be honest we're friends. I could see things happening, but I don't really know if I want things to happen or not (probably not... but he's probably the most likely guy I would go to). Then there is another guy. The guy who rejected me when I tried to dance with him. SO embarrassing by the way and a total confidence killer. Haha, I took a chance and got shot down, not really something I want to try again... but I would love to get to know him more if I had the chance.

You know, looking back, I have really really changed as a person but I will leave that to another blog post.

Till next time fellow non-socialites.

What I wouldn't do for a chance with you.

There is nothing else I want more than to have a chance with you. You, who has become unattainable. I'm going off to college soon. We'll go our separate ways and never see each other again. I just want a chance to be happy for at least a little bit. You know?

It's kind of funny how much I still like you. We've been through a lot, maybe not together but we've been through a lot. I really want to try this thing out but can I ever act on it? No. I am not that type of person. That is why you have to make the move. You have to be brave, but I don't even know if you like me anymore or if you ever did at all.

I wish for us to try this thing out but it probably won't work out. We've tried before, at least being friends but one of us ruined it and it was probably me. *sigh* This is who I am. I am quiet. I will never make the first move. I am shy.

This is me, a girl who like you. Who likes you a lot actually. Who has liked you, a person that she doesn't even know, for a really long time. Who has always wanted to see what it would feel like to be with you but has never actually acted on it. How can I when your presence shoots my nerves and make me a nervous wreck. I can't even talk. You're always at the top of my chat list but I never click your name.

I don't know. Some people may ask how I can like you when I don't even know you anymore. Maybe I just like the idea of you. I know that sounds weird. I may just be insane, but you've always been a presence in my life. You've always been someone I can fall back onto. No matter how much I strayed to other people (and believe me, I have) there is always you that I can always go back to liking.

I don't know. I just don't know what draws me back to saying I like you again and again and again. It's weird. Maybe once we go off to college, I will give up on the idea of you. On the idea of being in a relationship with you because you have no idea how bad I want to try. I want to unravel what makes you you. You're a mystery to me.

I don't know. This is stupid. I'm stupid. Forget that I ever said anything. I'll just go back to admiring from afar and having these sad moments when all I want is you.