3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
Who do I call: It really depends on what point I am at in my life when I am on the plane. The number one person that I would call is my grandma. I love her so much and if I was dying I would want her to know that. Hearing her voice would be the best thing before the plane burst into flames. Even though there is a language barrier, I want to tell her that I love her and she means the world to me.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Prom
Hello. I had prom yesterday and it was alright. I really wasn't looking forward to going anyway but it was better than I thought. It's just that....
life kinda sucks right now. I suppose this is the first time I'm going to be super vague about what's going on in my life on this blog. I'll complain about it after I get over just being sad.
I was planning on coming on here and just blogging out my feelings in this blog post but the sadness is just so overwhelming that I don't really feel like blogging about it. I just... I just can't. It just hurts so much.
There is just something painful about seeing your childhood/middle school/a bit of high school crush asking someone else to dance. <-- that's all I am saying right now.
Maybe I'll answer another deep ass question to make up for this lame excuse of a blog post.
life kinda sucks right now. I suppose this is the first time I'm going to be super vague about what's going on in my life on this blog. I'll complain about it after I get over just being sad.
I was planning on coming on here and just blogging out my feelings in this blog post but the sadness is just so overwhelming that I don't really feel like blogging about it. I just... I just can't. It just hurts so much.
There is just something painful about seeing your childhood/middle school/a bit of high school crush asking someone else to dance. <-- that's all I am saying right now.
Maybe I'll answer another deep ass question to make up for this lame excuse of a blog post.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Deep Ass Questions #2
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
Hmmm.... I get really angry a lot but most of the time I keep it inside. The last time I was verbally super duper angry? I would have to say was very very personal. I don't really want to talk about this because I get really ashamed of it. I was just very very very very angry and I almost did things that I would have really regret.
As for at this moment, I am angry. I don't think I will ever be as angry as the time mentioned above, but I am pretty angry right now. I'm angry for a lot of reasons. I'm angry that my mom is an idiot. Today, I donated blood without her permission. Ever since I was 12, I've been signing my own papers because my parents are never home. They go to work in the morning and don't come back until late. I've never really needed to ask for permission since then. Since I am almost 18, I figured that it would be okay and that I would tell her later. I came home today and told her and what do I get? I get yelled at for donating blood. Apparently I can't donate blood because in all the years she's been alive, she hasn't donated yet so why should I have gone and done it without permission. WTF is that logic. It's my blood and if I want to use it to save someone then I can. She has no right to tell me that, especially since I don't even consider her a mother.
I am also mad at myself. I am not one of the best people you'll ever meet. I'm not super skinny. I'm not super smart. I'm not sporty. I'm not anything but average. I am mad at myself for being shy and not taking risks. I'm mad at myself for not knowing what I want in life. I am mad at myself for being a coward.
There are just too many things that I am angry about. Too many things to list. Too many things to talk about in a blog post. There are just too many and that, I have realized, is really sad.
Hmmm.... I get really angry a lot but most of the time I keep it inside. The last time I was verbally super duper angry? I would have to say was very very personal. I don't really want to talk about this because I get really ashamed of it. I was just very very very very angry and I almost did things that I would have really regret.
As for at this moment, I am angry. I don't think I will ever be as angry as the time mentioned above, but I am pretty angry right now. I'm angry for a lot of reasons. I'm angry that my mom is an idiot. Today, I donated blood without her permission. Ever since I was 12, I've been signing my own papers because my parents are never home. They go to work in the morning and don't come back until late. I've never really needed to ask for permission since then. Since I am almost 18, I figured that it would be okay and that I would tell her later. I came home today and told her and what do I get? I get yelled at for donating blood. Apparently I can't donate blood because in all the years she's been alive, she hasn't donated yet so why should I have gone and done it without permission. WTF is that logic. It's my blood and if I want to use it to save someone then I can. She has no right to tell me that, especially since I don't even consider her a mother.
I am also mad at myself. I am not one of the best people you'll ever meet. I'm not super skinny. I'm not super smart. I'm not sporty. I'm not anything but average. I am mad at myself for being shy and not taking risks. I'm mad at myself for not knowing what I want in life. I am mad at myself for being a coward.
There are just too many things that I am angry about. Too many things to list. Too many things to talk about in a blog post. There are just too many and that, I have realized, is really sad.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Deep Question #1
So.... I found this post on tumblr that has 23 deep ass questions as the title. I figured I will answer all of them. It might not be a daily thing, but I will answer all of them.... Eventually.....
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This question is really hard for me to answer. I rarely tell people how I feel, especially face to face. I can't really remember a time where I really had to explain my feelings face to face with friends. I'm the type of person to avoid confrontation or talking about my feelings or whatever.
I suppose it's more difficult for me to look at someone's eyes when I am telling someone how I feel. When dealing with emotions, I am not good with words. When asked to explain my feelings or give details, my brain shuts down and I stare off into space or down on the ground. I feel that if I look at the person, I will break down and basically flounder around. Maybe that's why I can't talk to the guys that I have liked, that I can't look them in the eye ever. I don't make eye contact with them....
I guess what I am saying is that I am very bad with eye contact. It makes me nervous and I would be uncomfortable with both looking into someones eyes when I are telling someone how I feel and looking into someones eyes when they are telling me how they feel. It's just hard, especially for a socially awkward person like me.
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
This question is really hard for me to answer. I rarely tell people how I feel, especially face to face. I can't really remember a time where I really had to explain my feelings face to face with friends. I'm the type of person to avoid confrontation or talking about my feelings or whatever.
I suppose it's more difficult for me to look at someone's eyes when I am telling someone how I feel. When dealing with emotions, I am not good with words. When asked to explain my feelings or give details, my brain shuts down and I stare off into space or down on the ground. I feel that if I look at the person, I will break down and basically flounder around. Maybe that's why I can't talk to the guys that I have liked, that I can't look them in the eye ever. I don't make eye contact with them....
I guess what I am saying is that I am very bad with eye contact. It makes me nervous and I would be uncomfortable with both looking into someones eyes when I are telling someone how I feel and looking into someones eyes when they are telling me how they feel. It's just hard, especially for a socially awkward person like me.
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